I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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