That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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