im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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