Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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