yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
