i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
