you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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