addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
