is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i think im in europe. pls send help
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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