remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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