I hate your face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
