I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
