Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
