I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
