sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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