Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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