im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
