Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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