This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
