You're so nebulous sometimes
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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