HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
even my farts smell like vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
