Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I will be naked everywhere
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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