Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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