Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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