He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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