we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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