a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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