I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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