Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
