My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
