Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
