everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
