Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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