I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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