FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
