I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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