On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
