Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
