Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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