Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
