just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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