I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
