why didn't you poke me back
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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