I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
