my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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