So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
