I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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