still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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