You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize