dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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