Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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