Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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