Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone signed my nipple.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
