remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize